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As I sit at my desk, it is difficult to focus. I am taking short, shallow breaths- fighting the feeling of crushing weight on my chest. I am swallowing the lump in my throat and blinking away the sting of tears welling in my eyes, threatening to spill over onto my face and embarrass me.... Continue Reading →

Your Brain on Grief

You've probably heard of "baby brain", a term defined by the fog that encompasses your memory and thought processes after the sleepless, stressful time of bringing a new baby home, but I want to talk about "widow brain". Something discussed less frequently, but is just as real and frustrating. I'm a bit of a brain... Continue Reading →

Dear Suicide

Dear Suicide, We've gotten to know each other well over the past 250 days. You arrived- so suddenly, unyielding and unwantedly into my home and I wish I had never come to know you, wish I had never learned your name or lost people that I've love to you. You are not brave. Or courageous.... Continue Reading →

Stronger

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger...or at least that's what Kelly Clarkston says. People always say to me "I don't know how you do it, you're so strong!" My therapist says I'm strong. I tell her "I don't have a choice" I mean, what else am I supposed to do? Have a mental breakdown... Continue Reading →

Grief Games

Ever since Sean died I play a game in my head when people complain, and I've decided to name it, appropriately so, The Grief Game. Round 1: Oh, your husband would rather play video games then spend time with you tonight? Gee, that's rough- mine's dead. I win. Round 2: Your husband is away on... Continue Reading →

Identity Crisis

The other day I was talking to my sister on the phone and she commented that I sound different. "I feel different" I responded. I couldn't quite figure out why I had felt different when just the week before I was drinking almost every night, not sleeping or eating well and feeling overwhelmingly bleck. This... Continue Reading →

The Sound of Silence

If you’ve ever spoken to someone who has witnessed a horrible atrocity in their life, they may mention to you the sound they made upon learning that their lives would be forever changed. It’s the sound a father and mother make when two police officer knock on their door in the middle of the night... Continue Reading →

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